The Company I Keep

I am the all-American boy,
the all-American toy gone wrong
with a good song I can sing
while I bring to life
the music of my strife when sad,
never being bad, but being good
at it while on food of joy I dine
and drink wine and listen to the world
all curled up on the couch
like a slouch in a den
of sin that grows grey
as I obey the voice of a god
that to me is odd and white,
full of spite and would like to do me harm
in his charm of the sour and sweet,
the towers of treats that find me ill
at the windowsill in a day or three
wishing I wasn't me or anyone,
the long lost son of a bitch
with an itch that I can't cure
because I'm not pure of heart,
the art of dismay my secret talent
in a low rent place that isn't my home,
where I'm pardoned to roam free and alone
on a bench on the phone wondering which way is up
the cup half empty like my head in a dream,
things aren't what they seem when I wake
and I take for granted the promises said,
everything's dead in my hands,
the sands of time running through
all I've got to do to survive,
to strive to get by
so that I don't die a sad death
breathing my last breath and seeing the light,
feeling the fright of the end
all my friends fading and gone,
watching the dawn in the morn
the feeling of forlorn vanishing with sleep
with the company that I keep.

22 May 06 - Boulder, CO

It's for the Blind that I See

I am a soothsayer for the blind,
a golden, false god that can sing
a language of silence with a smile-
I suffer, a delirious lyricist
with a cut tongue,
a fanatical fascist in centrifuge.
I have eyes to share the world
though I am a fool with words,
giving thoughts to those without.
I am a lost talent rolling nothing
into the wind of today and tomorrow,
sitting silent in my observations.
I will not sing songs of my lament
because the dance is hard to follow,
the words are far too shallow.

Smile and Be Content

Smile and be content

Smile, I say, smile
and be content
because we have to talk
for there's something to be said
in a hushed whisper,
but remember to smile loudly
and profess your exuberance
in a demure and respectful way

Put an end to your empty
heart that aches in great pain,
or hide it all with a smile
while you talk a good game

Jan '06
Dedicated to HER

Tragically Convoluted

Everything was tragically convoluted
as total fuck-all could be,
the people bumping into each other
as living distortions of themselves that weren't meant
to co-exist on any plane of harmony.
In the center of it was I,
the very I living within each and every one
of us that has the tenacity
to look into the mirror when weak and crying.
From where I sit, it's all our accident,
this world, this life, and I am not sitting
anywhere the Buddha or the Christ hasn't or couldn't
but I haven't the capacity to meditate the same.
When I think of me, I think more of my place
in the brotherhood of man-
a brother just the same to man and woman
alike, united in the sacred blood of the earth.

3/10/06

An Electric Friend

An electric friend lights quiet compassion,
the ties that bind a subtle current
flowing at the speed of a flash
that is recognition in another's eyes

Unmatched is the bond, known
between friend and friend, they silently speak
a truth shared within

Sitting beside one another, they can agree
that the world is a convoluted mess
filled with random chaos in search
of stability, because stable is comfortable

Comfort in the lies is but a way
to pass the time, so we shake the present,
inside it may break or break us free
and either way relearn to just let go

Letting go is giving up the ghost
and surrendering to those demons
inside of us the very pain
we've lived in until we can cry
it all away until another day

'Tis only through our pain can we see
the hidden miracle - We must ask
the question, no matter the result

Jordan P Fitzpatrick & Michael J Dingler (Jan '06 - New Orleans, LA)

Darryl Started me off With This First Line

The right use of will
is always most important when darkness
falls across a shadowed land,
trees swaying in the winds
of change, the winds deranged
blowing madly to the dawn,
the madness a yawn come early,
surly and sad - a sigh
let out before all time passes
into the history of the dead,
the history for the well-read
to read at night before
they tuck themselves into bed
finally believing that they are now safe.

12/30

My Beautiful and Charming Child

Aside from the fact that I have two beautiful and charming little girls, we'll focus on my three and a half year old for the moment. Since our daycare was closed today for the coming Christmas holiday, my wife was taking our oldest to work with her while I get to be adventure boy with my two year old. As she's settling in to her seat in the backseat of the car, she looks down at one of those plastic kiddie bowls that litter our car and announces to my wife, "Mommy, that bowl is fucking dirty." End of story...out of the mouths of babes. Of course, when my wife stopped back by so that I could get the little ones baby seat out of the car, the was a very demure and shy girl sitting back there while the story was relayed. My response...we'll make a sailor of her yet. And that is the beginning of my Friday before Christmas. Hope the holidays are good for all. MD