A Year Ago Today

A year ago today, I was a different man
with a different plan, looking out at a new world,
my banner furled, my feelings curled inside
until I went wild and died, until I cried foul and lied
to my mother, my brother, my enemy's druthers
the rule of the day, keeping me at bay,
serving me lies on a silver tray that aid
in the way I concede defeat and repeat the conceit
until receipt of my soul is due and I don't
know what to do, I won't know who to screw
because the sides are ever-changing, the tides
are ever-ranging in sine waves of disbelief,
there's no relief in the house of the dead
but to lay down your head in surrender to the man,
the idea that you can is crushed in the night,
crushed in the light, rushed into fright
of that big white hand sitting still in the sand,
waiting to draw the line that's fine and all,
making you small, showing you how the tall stand
and survive, you're not really alive,
you're not really the person they say you are...
you're not really the person they say you are.